Variation
by Amarissia
Summary: Following the ending of Bibou No Detail, Misu watches Takumi sleep, and wonders...


_Okay, a little short for you. Takumi and Gii (coughDaiMaocough) are my OTP, no question, but here's a little exploration into Misu and his possible feelings for Takumi. (I know I wouldn't be able to room with Takumi without jumping on him.) This immediately follows the ending of __**Bibou No Detail**__ and goes off from there._

_Is anyone else continually pissed that movie 3's ending implied Takumi and Gii's relationship would be public again, and then they just threw that out the window? Let me know. A review would be nice too if you enjoy this._

_I don't own Takumi and his friends, but I could teach Gii a thing or two about psychology if I did._

**_EDIT: Just realized this is a lot like Akkadia's story "Staying Calm." Sorry, didn't mean to be a copy-cat!_**

**VARIATION**

Misu was restless this night. As pragmatic as he was. he knew he needed at least six hours sleep to function properly in class, but since Takumi had returned, Misu's mind had been working non-stop. The younger boy had, in an adorable fluster, intimated that things between he and Saki were fine now. A small part of Misu was happy for him, the only part not poison-green with jealousy.

Now he was watching Takumi (_Hayama_, he reminded himself) sleep. The boy looked even more innocent in slumber, if that was possible. He was heart-ripping-out beautiful to Misu, who had always before thought of attractiveness about as useful as rainbows and hair ribbons. The moonlight from the window fell on Takumi like a spotlight. The show's title - "This is what you can never have."

"Saki doesn't deserve you," Misu said, surprised to hear his voice aloud. "All he does is make you cry. I could have cured your phobia. I don't know how he did it, but..."

Misu trailed off. Takumi was moving a little, maybe unused to sleeping soundly after being so restless lately. Misu had no wish to disturb him; his feelings for Takumi were new and perplexing, but genuine. Everything he couldn't make himself feel for Shinyouji overflowed with Hayama. Every glimpse of his angelic face made Misu want to hold him and hide him from everything bad for him. Saki included. That infurating boy was arrogant, always got what he wanted, it wasn't fair. It wouldn't have surprised Misu to know how Gii had cured Takumi's phobia.

Misu was out of bed before he knew the decision had been made. He walked to Takumi's bed, sat, observed the one he maybe loved.

"If I hadn't broken his resolve," Misu asked the sleeping boy, "if I had come to you instead, would you have accepted me? You wouldn't have, would you?"

He lightly laid a hand on Takumi's cheek, smiled bitterly when the boy turned into the touch. _He thinks it's Saki._ He ran a thumb very gently over Takumi's lips, then before he reacted moved his hand up to slide fingers into the soft black hair. _Is there any part of you, Hayama, that doesn't feel like satin or silk?_

Takumi stirred again; Misu quickly drew back and waited till he was still. Characteristic control breaking at the beautiful sight before him, Misu leaned down and left a light, long kiss on the pale pink mouth. No response, so Misu felt safe enough to gently move to Takumi's neck and inhale the herbal-and-skin scent of him.

"Takumi," he whispered, saying that name out loud for the first time.

The word had an instant effect. Takumi began to twist and turn in the sheets, frowning in his sleep.

_I never knew sadness could be beautiful, before you_, Misu's mind babbled as he backed away. _Was it your sadness as much as your beauty that drew Saki? Drew me?_

Takumi began to whimper, and his shifting became thrashing. "No, Niisan, please," he begged quietly, still asleep.

_Hayama has a brother? What is he saying no to?_ Logic stepped in, Misu's favorite hiding place. _Haphephobia. Ususally caused by prolonged sexual abuse, typically by someone the victim trusted. Saying no to an older brother. I understand now, Hayama, but I also don't. Your purity should never be tainted by anyone. How could -_

"Niisan, please!" Takumi cried out. "Please, it _hurts_..."

Once again, Misu's body acted without his reason. He rushed back to the other bed, sat, and pulled the moving boy into his arms, absently registering how light he was.

"Hayama, wake up. It's okay."

"No! No! I don't want to, Niisan..."

"Your brother's not here. Hayama, look at me. You're safe here."

Somehow he felt when Takumi opened his eyes; the shifting faded into shaking and heavy, panicked breathing.

"Misu-kun? What are you - "

"Just let me hold you. I can make you feel better," Misu insisted, though he actually had no experience of comforting someone. "Just let me - "

"No, no, I can't," the younger boy gasped. "Let go, I can't - "

"What can he do that I can't? I lo-"

There was no chance to see if Misu would have been able to say the word. Takumi wrenched himself free, curled up against the headboard and continued with what Misu recognized as a panic attack.

"Hayama?"

The boy looked awake, but still terrified. He seemed to be seeing something Misu couldn't, and cowered from it.

"I can't, I...can't..."

"Hayama." Misu inched closer, despite Takumi clearly not wanting him to. "Let me help you."

"Don't touch me, please!"

_Is he speaking to me or his brother? Are we the same to him right now?_ Misu returned to the bed and put his arms around the struggling, doll-like body.

"I can help you! If Saki can, then - "

The words died on Misu's lips. Takumi stopped struggling but continued to heave, and now he was sobbing. No one had ever called Misu soft-hearted, but Takumi brought something out in him. After a few minutes of gentle words and strokes that did nothing to quell the gasping and tears, Misu let go of him.

"Okay, Hayama, okay." Misu grabbed his phone from the bedside table and looked up a number he'd had little reason to use - Akaike had only insisted he have it in case something urgent came up with Takumi.

"Hello? Misu? What is it, is Takumi okay?"

"Panic attack, he had a bad dream. You might want to - " Misu scoffed when Gii disconnected. "Hayama, Saki is coming."

The haphephobic boy was curled into a ball, eyes squeezed shut with tears streaming, trembling from heavy breaths. He made no sign that he'd heard. Gii was through the door in seconds and rushed to Takumi, pulling him into an embrace, even though Takumi fought him too.

"Takumi, it's me, Gii. He's dead, he's gone, he can't hurt you anymore. I won't let anyone hurt you. Baby, look at me."

Takumi slowly lifted his head, opened reddened eyes. Almost immediately, his shaking began to ease and his breathing returned to almost normal.

"...Gii?"

Gii touched the face Misu just had, gently drying the porcelain skin of tears. "I'm here. It's okay. It was just a bad dream. You want to tell me about it?"

Takumi briefly shut his eyes. The lovers had apparently forgotten Misu's presence.

"Hands. Hands not yours. And he was whispering my name, like he did when..."

Takumi shuddered, and Gii gathered him close. Misu took no solace from the sight of his crush being so comforted. _It was me. I caused his bad dream, and Saki is the one who helped him. The one he wants._

"It's okay, Takumi."

"I love you, Gii."

"I love you more than anything and I'll never let anyone else hurt you. Here, lay down. I'll stay with you until you fall back asleep."

After a long but fairly chaste kiss, Gii settled his boyfriend back down on the pillow and brushed some of the mussed hair out of his eyes. Takumi offered a weak smile and let his sleepy eyes fall shut. Gii held and stroked his hand silently until Takumi's breathing had been relaxed and regular a long time.

"Misu."

"What?" _Does he know what I did?_ Misu wore his usual impenetrable expression.

"Thank you."

"For calling you just now or for saving your relationship earlier?"

"Both, I suppose." Gii kissed Takumi's hand, slipped it under the blanket, and turned to face his rival. "Was it really a nightmare?"

"What are you insinuating?"

Gii frowned. "Did you touch him?"

Misu left a short pause. "Does it matter? I understand now, Saki. For some strange reason, Hayama wants only you."

Gii sighed, but finally nodded. "I can trust you?"

"I'll never do anything Hayama doesn't want. But if you ever make him cry again, I'll be there. I'll give up, with that exception clause."

"I accept your challenge."

"Good. I don't suppose you'll tell me what it was his brother did to him."

Gii pressed his lips tightly together. "Only Takumi has that right."

"I can guess. The worst thing an older brother can do?"

After a moment, Gii nodded. "He's dead. I only wish it had been by my hands."

"We're rivals in that too, then."

Gii's expression was unreadable, closed off. His soul only seemed to peek out when he looked at Takumi. "I'll always win, you know. He loves me."

"You'll do something stupid again. You always do." Misu yawned. "Go, Saki. I'll put your number on speed dial."

"Thank you, Misu."

The phrase was short, but the words heartfelt. Gii kissed Takumi again and quietly left. Misu watched Takumi until sleep overtook him, and the moonlight had shifted. Still, Takumi seemed to glow with a inner light, a love Gii had awoken in him. Maybe that _only_ Gii could have.

"Oyasumi, Hayama."

Misu slept, and the night went on, as though nothing had happened. He dreamed of Takumi, far away from him, unreachable. But no less beautiful.

**THE END**


End file.
